“Juicy” is not a description that should be on my butt

One of my favorite places for inspiration on the subject of being 1.) a mother and 2.) a real live human being with real emotions is Momversation.com.   So a post I had been thinking about came to the surface tonight, while I drank my beer and ate my burger and watched Are Little Girls Clothes Way Too Sexy? at Momversation.com.

One of my friends completely innocently included a bib in a gift at my baby shower that said “Hottie” on it.  It was in a large pack of other bibs, so I’m not saying she was making some statement or is behind this sentiment, but man that thing stuck in my craw.

I thought I threw it out, my first battle in the war on sexism for my daughter, but there it was again in the pile of things as I packed to move last month.  “HOTTIE” written in purple across a white bib.  Really?  A person that needs such a bib is under the age of one and we already assigning this cringe-worthy slang word to them?  I mean, sure she’s cute but wait…why are we already talking about her physical beauty!?  She still shits her pants!

Sure, I may be a little too indignant about this, but hell…I work all day and come home and run all night.  Allow me my little wars.

So as I watched this episode, it hit me: Oh Holy Moses on Mt. Sinai, I’m going to have to deal with the length of my daughter’s skirts from grades 5-12.  I’m going to have to be the fuddy duddy that tells her to respect herself and not make the entire 10th grade Math class her gynecologist.

How do you teach girls to respect themselves?  To not be on display for boys or other girls?

I assume I teach her that by the actions of myself.  Hell, that shouldn’t be a problem then because hopefully she will look to her aunt for fashion tips, as lately my wardrobe has included v-neck t-shirts in all colors and one pair of men’s jeans from The Gap.  Then again, maybe by the time we’re having these arguments in front of her closet I will have had more than 10 minutes to shower once a week, so hell, maybe I’ll have been able to throw on a short skirt too. Providing I will have resumed shaving my legs in 2021.

For now I’m just going to use that bib when she eats really awful stain-inducing foods like peas and carrots and the dog food (have I mentioned we reached, The Crawling?).  Then I’m going to wipe her ass with it, hop in my car, cruise the mall and leave it in the dressing room at Forever Slutty-One.

Hurrah!

-Lulu

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